So, I was just about to exit my room on the way to the kitchen for a snack, and right as I stood in the doorway I looked down on the floor and saw a dark thing.

At first I thought that maybe it was just a knot in the wood—It’s important to note that I didn’t have my glasses on, so visibility was limited—but then I realized it was foul, evil, cockroach.

It was on it’s back and kind of flailing; presumable due to the fact that my mom sprays for bugs quite often.

I proceeded to get what is now known as my ‘Bug Killing Shoe’, a yellow wedge sandal which is kept at the mouth of my doorless closet for easy access.

As I approached the poisoned pest I quietly whispered,

“I will kill you.”

And then I smashed it so hard the sound resonated throughout the house.

Now it’s just a deathy pile of bug and guts now I must clean it up ew. 

My hatred of bugs is greater than the Daleks’ hate for everything.

esmethenotsogreat:

annathemarmotqueen:

why is everyone on tumblr so attractive

how can i be attractive

what’s the html code

is there a tutorial to be attractive

it was on megaupload

TOO SOON

(Source: fateslashzero, via queensuperjelly)

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

(via noonelovesringo)